🔗 Share this article

At this point a year ago, I was on a TV programme alongside three vocalists. Present were a Ghanaian-origin rapper, a big pop star, plus a renowned mezzo-soprano. We were in the heart of winter. The night before, I attended a longtime friend's 60th birthday, squeezed into a pub's event space somewhere in Surrey. The festivities were fun, yet now, just for something to say, I pondered how it was possible to avoid catching a cold as numerous attendees were part of an orchestra of winter ailments. Incidentally, what explains the trumpet-like nose blows, and some do not? A topic for future discussion.

The Reaction of the Trio

At mention of my night out, the group of artists backstage at the TV studio did two things. First, they moved back a bit. Second, they started a passionate debate about preventing colds which expected because of their careers was a major concern for them. I understand that, but I have skin in this game too – I need to dodge colds no matter what since my colds are more severe than others'. I don’t have a medical certificate to confirm this, yet I'm certain it's factual. My symptoms persist. My nasal passages are more congested, my throat feels rougher, my coughs are harsher, more persistent and seem infinite. My relatives, wise to the couple of quick throat-clearances indicating trouble ahead, sometimes banish me or clear the room themselves. Back when I presented football on ITV, my poor colleagues in the studio gallery grew attuned to the warning signs. “Headphones off!” the studio director would holler to everyone to avoid auditory overload, overloading their audio gear.

Dealing With Nasal Congestion

Regarding my nasal issues, I could go on and on. Nasal sprays, decongestants, even the electric shock of fumes of boiling plum brandy my mother recommends … they help briefly before giving up. It's hard to find something more pathetic as a Midlands dialect delivered with no nasal airflow. That is, it's somewhat nasal on a good day. Fortunately, this often brings compassion, which isn't ideal. When I started college, separated from family care, the janitor in our dorm took pity on me. “I know exactly what you need, you unfortunate soul. I'll return shortly.” She was very lovely, very Irish, and adamant that I consume the uncooked, peeled onion she offered me in bed. She monitored my consumption. Kind soul. No improvement resulted, I’m afraid, except for upsetting my stomach and leaving my breath foul.

The Mezzo-Soprano’s Prevention Strategy

Therefore, I hate colds and am quite sure that prevention is better than the cures that onion-based or otherwise, fail to help. I focused carefully alongside my colleagues while she explained her health practices. With forthcoming bookings to sing for her supper over Christmas, she was highly committed. She commanded us to use hand gel hourly during the cold months from what I gathered plus, specific measures were necessary during festivities. Before any event, she advised several sprays of a nasal spray into both nostrils – even if healthy. Intense. I like it. And, get this, she mandated a second dose later with additional bursts of the same stuff.

The Results

I followed suit. And I must admit I remained cold-free. There were downsides: the many containers I acquired, mislaid, repurchased, rediscovered, and more. And the disappointing instant you realise you’ve sat on the little vessel of hand gel kept in your jeans and it's leaking all over. However, all a price worth paying. As the cold season approaches once more, I’m re-armed to the teeth with the mezzo-soprano’s recommended ordnance. I’m ready for battle.